First Impressions: Dances with the Dragons

The title of this anime is similar to the title of one of the Song of Ice and Fire books.

…that’s all I got. Moving on.

dragon dance.png
one ring to expodump them all

Trying to come up with some kind of bullshit science to explain magic ruins all the fun of magic. If you want magic, just have magic. If you want technology that can do magic stuff, have technology that can do magic stuff. You don’t need to explain it. That’s the kind of dangerous mindset that brought us midichlorians.

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‘…jugemu jugemuu gokō-no surikire kaijarisuigyo-no suigyōmatsu unraimatsu fūraimatsuu kuunerutokoro-ni sumutokoroo yaburakōji-no burakōji paipopaipo paipo-no-shūringann hūringan-no gūrindai gūrindai-no ponpokopī-no ponpokonā-no chōkyūmei-no chōsuke jon jacob jingleheimer-schmidt iv.’

Either the volume is too low on my computer and he began a line at a mumble, or at one point they started The Ginger One’s lip flap a full second before his dialogue. That’s the sort of mistake you see sometimes in older dubs and the like, but I’ve never seen it in the original language before. That’s really special. Not quite as special as a random, completely unrelated soundclip suddenly coming in out of nowhere, but special.

This episode has that unique light-novel adaptation problem where it manages to give you way too much information, much of it delivered in the clunkiest way possible, while simultaneously not giving you enough. It weren’t for Our Heroes occasionally bringing the premier to a screeching halt in order to tell each other things they already know, I’d be wondering if they’d accidentally released the sixth episode instead of the first.

They do the thing some anime have started to do where they darken the screen whenever there are bright lights or lots of movement, but it seems they don’t know why those anime do it because it’s done fairly inconsistently. Those other anime do it to avoid accidentally triggering anyone’s epilepsy. This anime seems to do it because it’s done in Boku no Hero Academia and Boku no Hero Academia is popular, so maybe if they do it, they’ll be popular.

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ha his name’s got ‘gay’ in it

How could an anime about fighting dragons with magic be so boring? I don’t care about any of the plot stuff that they’re trying to tell me. I just wanna watch the guys beat up dragons with their magic, but even that is boring because the animation is only okay and these characters aren’t interesting and all the fights were at night so I couldn’t see the dragons all that well anyway. I’m almost mad at this anime for taking what should’ve been an instant winner of a premise and making it feel like a chore. By the time it got to the eyecatch in the middle, I felt like crying because the episode had already gone on for 20 years but was only half over.

I dunno, Boring Lead Dude, I think you having troubles with women seems perfectly likely, since you’re such a boring lead dude. Unless you’re implying that you’re not going to have trouble with women because you’re gay. I’d definitely believe that.

I haven’t mentioned it yet because it’s a fairly minor point, but ‘Jushikiists’ is dumb and hard to pronounce.

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oh shit he’s got a cat. i retract all of my complaints. this anime is perfect

They live together and have a cat together and Glasses Ginger wondered aloud who the cat “takes after”. That’s gay.

Why did the soundtrack honk at Jugemu Etcetera’s sword.

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‘oh no you see it’s not gay cause he has a girlfriend. sure her personality is “girl” and he treats her like shit, but she’s got boobs’

I take the dullness of this anime as a personal attack. How dare a gay anime about fighting dragons with magic that has a cat in it be boring. I can’t even get worked up about just how shittily Our Hero treats his beard because I’m so damn bored that I’m just glad it’s over.

The only thing in this whole anime that was even kind of interesting was Tattooed Guy’s prayer being reminiscent of a Muslim prayer, but I don’t feel qualified to comment on that beyond saying that I found it interesting. I’m not sticking with this.


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