First Impressions: MAGATSU WAHRHEIT

I spent the better part of the past several hours trying to push this premier off on one of the other reviewers because even though I don’t cover all the premiers anymore I do still watch them and I’ve long since reached the part in any crowded premier season where I am sick to goddamn death of anime and would rather watch literally anything else but specifically in this case The Haunting of Bly Manor so to make a long grumble short this thing better be really fucking good because I am not in a generous mood.

they’re fine it’s part of a new skincare regiment

Right off the bat this premier has two serious issues.

  • Issue 1: I don’t speak Japanese.
  • Issue 2: The subtitles aren’t loading.

So, I find myself needing to make a choice. I can either a) try watching it on my PS4 and see if the subtitles will load there; or b) review the episode based on what I can glean from the visuals and few scattered words and phrases I’ve learned mainly via osmosis and a half-remembered Duolingo course. Being the consummate professional that I am, I’ll go with the option that’ll allow me to be done with this shit sooner so I can get back to the show I actually want to be watching.

From what I can glean, it’s perfectly fine. It’s got dinosaurs being shot by guns, and anything featuring both dinosaurs and guns at the same time is generally a good time. I was also able to determine that the main character was named by a 14-year-old and there’s a girl in it and the girl has Motivations and a Backstory (as indicated by the fact that she looks grumpy all the time) but hasn’t abandoned her Femininity (as evidenced by her perfectly applied lip stick and the cleavage that she always has even when she’s apparently trying to be incognito). Also something about a group of guerrillas or terrorists or something breaking a guy out from prison and the main dude knows him ’cause he helped him move boxes or some shit idk. Oh, and some dude set off a giant fucking explosion but I don’t know if that happened before all this or will happen after because, again, I don’t speak Japanese and the subtitles aren’t working.

The overall art style is fairly typical of modern anime and Our Presumed Hero looks exactly like at least one other forgettable main character that I can’t think the name of because I forgot him, but aside from that it’s a refreshing aesthetic change from most of the other scifi/fantasy stuff coming out nowadays. I might come back and do a second review in a day or two after Funimation fixes the subtitle issue, but if not, it seems worth checking out if you can understand Japanese or it gets a dub.

support us on patreon and maybe i’ll review haunting of bly manor

EDIT: Funimation fixed the subtitle problem at some point and it turns out the episode is actually really good, you should check it out, and I’ll probably keep watching.

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