Ace Anime Reviews Rwednesday #5: WHAT? No DUEL LINKS???

Audio Transcript: Ace Anime Reviews Rwednesday
10 February 2021
Ace (A), Charlie (C), Noah Haley (NH)

[Transcriber’s Note: There were a frankly ridiculous amount of audio issues this week, which we have attempted to compensate for by visiting different recordings of this discussion. While we’ve done our best to remain accurate, there may be some mistakes here and there. We ask for your patience.]

NH: Hi! Welcome to Ace Anime Reviews Rwednesday! I’m Noah Haley, they/them pronouns, with me today are…! Ace, that’s you.

A: Sorry I’m reading controls. Ace Barret King, he/him pronouns, I’m the founder of the site, and I am incredibly distracted, and irritated, and let’s move on, please.

C: And I’m Charlie, they/them, and I’m just here to have fun and talk about anime. Sorry if I’m a little quiet.

NH: Hold on. That doesn’t sound like something we do here? Have fun?

A: What’s going on? What?

C: What’s goin’ on Haley?

NH: You guys are- I don’t

A: I haven’t played this game in a while, I have to relearn the controls.

NH: Ok, so! If you didn’t know, Ace Anime Reviews is a website, in which we review primarily anime premieres, but also anything else we might feel like talking about. Most recently was a review by yours truly: Male Rape isn’t Funny: A Review of Peter Grill and the Philosopher’s Time. And really, the title tells you everything you need to know about the show. Right about now is normally when we would be doing our shoutout to new Pay-Tron- patrons, and thanking our continuing patrons. We don’t have any at the moment. But! If you are interested in joining our Patreon, I have closed my game again. For one dollar a month, you get early access to any reviews and voting power on any polls that we end up doing. Right now we’re looking to start polls for what light novel we’re going to make Fen, or druidquest, read every month. For five dollars a month, you get everything from the one dollar a month tier, plus access to this Discord channel, where you can chat with us about anime and whatever else you want, along with other patrons. Nope, I don’t want to join the five dollar a month tier, I’m sorry, that was a misclick. For ten dollars a month- I mean I would love to join the five dollar a month tier, but that would be a little counterintuitive. Ten dollars a month, you get automatic entry into a drawing to join us for one of these little chats! Hopefully, they’ll be slightly more structured when we have guests on them, but I make no promises, as well as all the benefits from the lower tiers, that’s voting power, early access, and access to our discord server. And this week! What anime would you like to start with, Ace?

A: Wait, are we done? We’re done? I guess we’re done.

NH: Yeah, that’s all the tiers.

A: Okay. Wait, was there more… oh, I guess not, that was it.

NH: It’s all good.

A: Alright. Let’s talk about that otter.

NH: Talk about what?

A: Haley, is something wrong with your microphone? It sounds like you’re cutting in and out.

NH: Sorry, what would you like to start our anime discussion with today?

A: I said ‘otters.’

NH and C: The otters!

NH: They were so great! Such good children.

C: Yeah.

A:  They designed themselves.

NH: Yep. Solved all of their problems so that Neptune didn’t have to. I love them.

A: That chuuni guy had good priorities.

NH: He sure did. Make sure they’re cute at any cost!

A: Yeah. Yeah, he says, like, we can’t just put one central brain because they would be three doggy heads, but they wouldn’t, but posting- I mean petting each of the good boys individually would be pointless if there was only one brain, so there has to be three brains, so you can pet all three good boys. Or something like that.

NH: That’s true. 

NH: I do, I do appreciate that the representative from hell was just a dude doing their job.

A: Yeah.

NH: Very, very nice. (to DA: At least you’re still alive.) Oh, god, they-

A: (irritated crosstalk) Did you cut off again?

NH: No, I was taking a drink, I’m sorry.

C: Ok.

A: You need to, like, make it clearer. 

NH: Ok, I will slurp directly into the microphone in future.

A: It’s like, when you stop talking, you can’t just, like, cut- off-

NH: Oh! Ok, I’m sorry. 

A: Yeah.

NH: There was another- oh, god, there was another thing that they made. Oh, they made lobsters! That was fun. It was nice how they kept referring to them as long shrimp. 

A: Yeah. Well, that’s basically what they are, right?

NH: Basically… I mean, they’re much smarter than shrimp, from what I understand.

C: Live a lot longer, too.

A: Yeah…

NH: Very few things live as long as lobsters, from what I understand.

C: Yeah.

A: (crosstalk) Yeah, they gr- they just k-

NH: Oh, there is an immortal jellyfish, but that’s different.

A: Yeah. No, that’s really more of a cloning deal.

C: Yeah.

A: Don’t know where I’m- oh, I’m sorry I haven’t played this game in a while, and I don’t remember how to get out of this particular section. 

NH: You do it by clicking on everything until it works.

A: I, that’s what I did!

C: Mm-hm. Just hit all the buttons.

A: (crosstalk) (frustrated noises)

NH: So! Let’s just go over the anime that I’m watching that you two aren’t! I was very confused when I started the most recent episode of Wave!! Because it turns out that Masaki’s boyfriend is like, dead or something? 

A: What the fuck?

NH: And, I was – yeah! And I was because, like, I had forgotten to watch the last four or five minutes of the previous episode, because where I had ended initially seemed like a pretty good end point, and then I got distracted by, like, having to go make dinner or something. And so he goes swimming during a storm, which he had just earlier in the season yelled at Masaki about, and apparently he drowns, or some shit. All we get of it is a clip of his surfboard coming out of the ocean in the middle of a storm. And then the next episode opens, and everyone is very sad and jarringly depressed, and I was very confused.

A: Ah! So they killed him?

NH: Apparently. So, yeah, Masaki swore off surfing for, like, half the episode, and then all of his friends from the end of the competition showed up to go surfing in Shō’s honor, and he decided, actually, you know what, Tanaki’s- Tanaka- why did I call him that?- Tanaka was right, we’re just going to surf in his memory, and we’re going to be awesome at it. And so they’re surfing in his memory and being awesome at it. Also!

A: Did they seriously kill off a character in a gay surfing anime?

NH: Apparently. They don’t show him dead. And they don’t explicitly say he’s dead. But he is often referred to as being gone, and everyone is grieving, and it is heavily implied he has drowned. Although there is a-

A: (crosstalk) That’s really dark for how cute the first episode was.

C: So it’s sort of a lost at sea situation.

A: What the hell?

NH: Yeah, like, it was very jarring. 

A: I don’t- Like, it would be out of place for them to kill somebody off in Sk8, and Sk8 has a less optimistic tone. Like, maybe in the volleyball anime, I could see them killing off a character, but-

NH: (crosstalk) Yeah, I mean killing off characters in a sports anime is not something that one typically expects. It’s a hell of a motivation though. And it was a great way to solve the crisis that Masaki was having about where to go to high school, since he only originally wanted to stay in Ōarai because Shō was there, and now Shō’s gone, so I guess he doesn’t have to stay for high school.

A: Oh… kay.

NH: Anyway, it was-

C: Yeah. Speaking of Sk8.

NH: Sk8 was good.

C: Yeah.

NH: Mm.

C: Cops came up and ruined everything.

A: Oh, Sk8’s got a dub now, did you watch that, person who likes dubs?

NH: I didn’t see it yet, I didn’t notice it had been released.

A: Oh, yeah. They have the dub of the first episode. 

NH: Oh, good, I can’t wait to watch it. 

A: Yep. And, um, let’s see, what do I have in my notes for Sk8? Reki needs to see a shrink before his Post Traumatic Shock turns into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

NH: Uh. yes.

C: Yeah…

NH: Uh, Lan-

C: Maybe Langa, too.

NH: Yeah, Langa definitely maybe should have been seeing a shrink at this point. I’m, uh, hopefully nervous? Is that a good way of phrasing that? I’m concerned with where this thing with ADAM is going. But I’m hopeful, I’m hopeful they’ll handle it with nuance and tact, and not –

A: (crosstalk) Yeah. I have comment- I have comments like, ‘don’t refer to your prearranged platonic engagement with a minor as a date’, and ‘please remove your hands from that child’s waist’, in my notes before he referred to her- to him as his ‘EVE.’ Like, ADAM, goddammit, no!

NH: (crosstalk) Yeah, let’s, let’s, let’s just, uh-

A: (crosstalk) I sincerely hope he doesn’t mean it like that, but that is a child! 

NH: I mean, even if he doesn’t mean it, it’s a very common way of framing villainous characters that I wish would die. And I think the only way to make that up to me is if Reki and Langa became canonically a couple, and then I will pretend to accept their heavily queer-coded villain. 

C: Yeah…

A: Yeah… Well, he’s not- He’s heavily queer-coded because he’s a JoJo’s character. 

NH: That’s true…

C: Yeah… I mean, he was creepy enough before all the fuckin’ pedophilia bullshit.

NH: Ugh.

A: I don’t think it’s supposed to be read as pedophilia bullshit. I don’t think there’s anything actually romantic about it. 

C: No, he’s just got an obsession goin’ on, but it’s still fuckin’ creepy.

A: He’s just very dramatic. 

NH: He- That’s one word for it.

A: Yeah.

NH: Dramatic is definitely a way of phrasing it.

A: We can at least say that he has been using fairly generic terms for love, he is not using a specifically romantic term of love, I don’t think he’s planning on it.

NH: He does bring him red roses. And refers to them as a sign of his passionate love. Which is- is very creepy.

A: Well, they were dancing, and that was awesome. There’s lots of passion! You can have passion for a lot of things other than sex.

NH: Yes, you can, that is very true. It does not change the fact that red roses are typically used as romantic gestures. Oh…

C: Yeah. And he did give them to a teenager he intended to traumatize heavily. 

NH: Mm-hm.

A: Yeah. Well, he- he’s just a drama queen.

NH: He is an asshole who dresses as a vampire to bully teenagers. 

A: Yeah.

C: And adults! And small children!

NH: And adults, that’s fair. Although he clearly takes more pleasure in bullying the teenagers than dealing with the adults. Which is creepy as hell.

A: There’s also the argument – there’s also the possibility that he doesn’t know that Langa’s a teenager, he’s not- He doesn’t know who they are outside of the thing, so he could think that he’s a young adult. ‘Cause Langa doesn’t wear his school uniform. 

C: Well, yeah, but that show’s pretty good at, like, making the teenagers look like fuckin’ teenagers, not adults. 

A: Yeah…

NH: And act like fucking teenagers, and not adults. 

C: (inaudible)

A: But then, you can be in your early twenties and still look like a teenager. 

NH: That’s fair.

A: You can also be a teenager and look like an adult, that’s, like, 

C: Yes, but consider: the catboy.

A: Yes, that’s – isn’t the catboy in middle school

NH: The catboy is a middle schooler. 

C: Yeah…

A: Yeah, he’s a child. 

NH: Oh, yeah. He’s a baby.

C: And ADAM had somethin’ weird goin’ on with him, so…

NH: Yeah, that was very…

A: (crosstalk), Oh- No, go for it.

NH: I was gonna say, that was very clearly an abusive relationship. Which I think is what he’s gonna try to manipulate Langa into. 

A: Yeah, probably, he’s- the guy’s got issues, he also needs to see a shrink. 

NH: He needs to see a shrink, and possibly go to prison. 

A: Yeah… I don’t know about that, he hasn’t committed any crimes yet. 

NH: Yet.

C: Reckless endangerment. Attempted homicide.

A: Oh, right! The kid!

C: Breaking and entering! [Translator’s note: It’s actually trespassing, not breaking and entering.]

A: The cops! I thought that the – 

NH: He controls the cops! 

A: I thought that the place was privately owned. 

NH: It’s abandoned. 

C: Yeah.

A: Oh, ok, I kinda got the sense that it was- But isn’t he rich as hell? He could just buy it.

NH: I mean, technically that’s what he’s done with the patrol routes. He’s used his money and influence to keep them away from there. But I don’t think he actually owns it, I think that would be too direct a line to who he is. And he does clearly not want, not want that getting out. 

A: They don’t want anybody to know that he’s Jonathan Joestar?

NH: Yep.

C: Yeah.

NH: No! He’s not Jonathan! Jonathan Joestar is a good, kind person, who is much better than this weirdo who dresses like a vampire!

A: Yeah, well, he looks like Jonathan. And he sounds like Dio, and he moves like a JoJo character. 

NH: Does he look like…?

A: Then, our, our confusion between anagram and acronym last, last week- in the transcriber notes, you said that it’s not an anagram of anything, but it is, it’s an anagram of DAAM, which is what you say when you see what A Dio Ass Motherfucker he is. Oh, the eye catches! We haven’t talked about the eye catches. They’re great! They should be the whole show. 

NH: The which ones?

C: The what now?

A: The eye catches! The stuff that they do in between the commercial breaks, you know? Those little chibi animations?

NH: Oh, those are cute! They should –

C: Oh, yeah!

NH: If not make up more of the show, at least start a spin off with them.

A: [to game] She said she didn’t wanna come this way, and now she’s fuckin’ comin’ this way! Rachel, make up your goddamn mind! Okay!

NH: But if she does that, you’ll know her intentions. 

A: Her intention is to die

NH: Oh.

A: Though that’s not her intention just yet. Right now, her intention is to find her mom and dad.

NH: Oh, I have come up with a topic.

A: Her intention later is to die, okay. I know her intention, I’ve seen the anime, and I’ve read the manga, and I’ve played the video game.

NH: Okay.

A: I like this show. Do we have anything else to say about this…? I’m saying, his little thing… I’m withholding judgement on whether he’s actually a creep, I think he’s just weird. 

NH: I’m not withholding judgement on whether he’s a creep, but I will withhold judgement on the storyline as a whole, until we’ve seen more of it.

A: Yeah, and whether he’s that sort of creep?

NH: Yeah.

A: Like, his passionate love struck me as being a bit asexual.

NH: It’s still very creepy.

A: Yeah. 

NH: (crosstalk) Like, regardless-

C: (crosstalk) Also, as a representative of the aces we don’t claim him.

A: (crosstalk) It’s pretty clear, the passionate love is pretty specifically passionate love for skating.

NH: Sure. I’m sorry, Charlie, did you say ‘as the aces, we don’t claim him?’

C: Yes. We don’t want him.

A: (crosstalk) No, I don’t think he’s asexual, I think his love that he’s talking about is asexual; I think he’s gay. But, um

NH: (crosstalk) I think he’s a dick.

C: (crosstalk) You mean platonic?

A: Yeah. He can be both things. Many people are many things.

C: (crosstalk) I hate to invoke the name on our precious podcast, but, um, it kinda reminds me of the fuckin’ rival love in Homestuck.

A: I don’t, I- I-

NH: Kismesis? Kismessitude? Oh! 

C: Yeah.

NH: No! It’s not entirely like that. Kismessitude does require a certain amount of – I’m sorry, we’re not talking about Homestuck, but like – reciprocation and equal standing. Which is not present here. This is-

A: I’m saying that his love has absolutely nothing to do with Langa or who he is as a person. It’s love for skating, and he likes that Langa’s good at skating so he can have fun skating with Langa, is what I mean, when I refer to it as being asexual, passionate, kinda, yeah.

C: Yes.

NH: An idealized love.

A: Yes. So it’s shonen battle love, ‘cause it’s a sports anime. 

NH: Alright.

A: Yeah. Ok, alright.

NH: Ok. What else did you guys watch this week? 

A: Oh, Jobless.

C: Jobless.

NH: Oh, yeah.

A: Yeah, it wasn’t as bad as the last one, but I, I am done with Rudy. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he is the fucking worst.

NH: Yeah…

A: Like, when he was – his main concern when what’s-her-name was being threatened was that he wanted her to maybe let him fuck her down the line, but

NH: (crosstalk) EW!!!

A: This guy does not give a shit about anything other than getting his dick wet, and I am exhausted with it. And I am done with it, and I just

NH: (crosstalk) Fuck him. [Transcriber’s note: Actually, don’t do that: it’s what he wants.]

A: He’s not the worst protagonist in history, but he’s up there. 

NH: Yeah, he’s bad.

C: Yeah… I think, maybe, we can write off that one.

A: The worst is still the guy from King’s Game, and I’ll get into that, my next article is gonna be “The Five Dumbest Moments of King’s Game“, and I think it might actually end up being a two parter. 

NH: Yeah.

A: Like one for the first game, and then one for the second game. But, uh… And, oh, just a quick disclaimer, I absolutely adore King’s Game, it is the best, it’s just very dumb. The protagonist is the worst.

NH: Uh, does anyone…?

A: But, uh… Rudy is bad, and I hate him, and I cannot fucking deal with him anymore, and also his dad is an asshole. 

NH: Yeah.

C: Yeah… So let’s just stop watching that one.

H: (crosstalk) Oh! Speaking of, sorry to-

A: (crosstalk) You wanna stop watching that one? I mean I’ll keep watching it, but there’s just nothing to talk about other than how Rudy sucks, and he’s gross.

C: Yeah.

A: I mean, it’s so pretty, but it’s just a basic isekai, the only difference between this isekai and any other generic isekai is that it’s pretty. It’s just, yeah- there’s like-

C: Yeah. And also Ghislaine. Ghislaine is there.

A: Oh, Ghislaine is great. Yeah.

C: Yeah. Ok, what were you saying, Haley?

NH: Oh, I was gonna ask if- It can wait, it’s in reference to next week’s article, so it can wait. 

C: Ok.

A: Wait, isn’t the next one- Isn’t that Fen’s turn, next one?

NH: It’s supposed to be Fen’s. And I was gonna ask if you guys had heard if she was working on anything, because I haven’t. I’ll talk to her about it when she gets home.  

A: No, I haven’t heard anything.

NH: (to Fen, offscreen) Are you home? Hold on, it’s only three o’clock! Give me a second.

A: Alright, uh-

C: Yeah, so, the spider! 

A: Oh, the spider! Spider’s great! 

C: You wanna maybe-

A: She turned into a different spider!

C: You wanna maybe replace Rudy with the spider? 

A: Yes, let’s talk about the spider anime-

C: We can just warn Haley ahead o’ time?

A: Well, no, ‘cause there’s not much to talk about with spider anime either, ‘cause, I mean, it’s fun, we can talk about it for a bit, but it’s probably not that interesting.

C: Yeah.

A: What would be interesting from a discussion stand point? I guess, well no, Otherside would be if I paid attention to it, but I don’t. Let’s see… Well, I keep mentioning, I keep putting notes about- How about Horimiya? More than one of us watch that!

NH: I think all of us watch that. It’s very cute.

A: It can replace- yeah, let’s replace Jobless with Horimiya.

C: Ok.

A:We all like Horimiya.

NH: We do. It’s a good show.

C: I haven’t seen it.

NH: You haven’t watched it?

A: Oh. It’s cute.

NH: You should watch it, it’s very good.

A: Her dad showed up and I put in my notes that I was wondering why she called him by his first name, and then he spoke a few lines, and I was like ‘oh, I understand.’

NH: That’s why!

A: That’s-

NH: Yep!

A: Yep. Gotcha!

NH: Mystery solved! 

A: Oh, yeah.

NH: That was fun! 

A: I like that they didn’t have to outright state ‘I call him by his first name because he is Like That!’ Because the audience is smart enough to pick up that she calls him by his first name because he’s Like That!

NH: Like, he showed up and-

A: (crosstalk) Also, I’m a little bit

NH: Sorry, go ahead.

A: No, go ahead.

NH: I was gonna say, clearly there is not a whole lot of love lost there. I’m looking forward to seeing how complicated that relationship gets. It doesn’t seem like it’s bad, necessarily, so much as they’re just distant.

A: Well, from the little bit I know about where the story goes, it doesn’t go anywhere. I mean, it doesn’t go anywhere bad, because I know that eventually – I don’t think that the anime is gonna get this far, so I guess it’s fine if I spoil it a little bit – eventually, Horim- Miyamura does eventually go to him for sex advice about his relationship with his daughter. So, I’m guessing it’s fine.

NH: He does what?

A: He goes for advice when there’s trouble with his sex life with his daughter. [Transcriber’s note: Miyamura goes to Hori’s father when there’s trouble with his sex life, is what I think A’s trying to say here.]

C: What!?!

NH: He asks his girlfriend’s father-?

A: Yes, Hori’s kinda, Hori’s got a bit of an S&M streak that Miyamura’s not super comfortable with, so he goes to talk to her dad about it.

NH: Oh!

C: [relieved they’re not actually talking about an incest storyline] Ok! That was phrased badly!

NH: No!

C: That was phrased very badly!

NH: That’s still- That’s still not a great, that’s not great, um, hmmmm.

A: I mean, the way it actually comes across, from the way I understand, is perfectly fine and acceptable. It’s not, um, it’s not as bad as it sounds. And like, uh…

NH: It’s still –

A: And it’s basically, he goes to him because he’s a trusted adult, not because he thinks that he has experience with his daughter’s sex life. [Transcriber’s note: Goddam pronoun game’ll get you everytime.]

NH: No! No, I didn’t think he would, but I do think it’s a little awkward

A: (crosstalk) It’s a little weird.

NH: for everyone involved to ask your girlfriend’s father- !

A: Yeah, but that does bring me to my next point on Horimiya, is that I’m a little concerned that we haven’t seen Miyamura’s home life. Like, he’s always having lunch with the Horis, like-

NH: (crosstalk) Yeah, it’s –

A: (crosstalk) Is somethin’ up with his parents? Are they just working?

NH: implied his life isn’t particularly… I don’t wanna say good, but, like, it’s not very happy from what we’ve seen of him in middle school. 

A: Yeah, well that was because he was bein’ dealt with, I mean- [to game] John Smithee…

NH: I mean, he’s very clearly got some issues. [to DA:O] I don’t remember what order I’m supposed to do these in.

A: Mm-kay. Oh, there was one other thing I wanted to say on Jobless. Which makes me glad that we decided to stop talking about it, is that I did get some spoilers about way past where the anime’s probably gonna go, and it’s gonna end up with that really bad, boring way of ending one of these things, where the main character just ends up marrying all the waifus. 

NH: Yeah.

A: So, yeah. It’s not, like. I hesitate to call it gross, but it’s boring, and lazy, and obvious. Just, kinda… meh.

NH: I doubt it is handled well. 

A: Yeah…

C: Yeah. I mean, the harem aspect is always boring. 

A: Yeah…

C: If, maybe, they explored the polyamory. Like, if they all have a sort of thing going, and not just one guy getting with a whole bunch of ladies. 

A: Yeah. Like, so I did mention once that I’m planning on writing a book, and it’s an isekai, which kinda, like, takes all the lazy stuff, from all the boring isekai, and then try to make something good out of it. So it’s got the generic protagonist, and he’s got himself a harem, but the harem is explicitly like it’s a political thing. 

C: Yeah. I ‘member.

A: Like, they’re all people who’re the representatives of their certain things, who are set to try to marry him for political reasons. And the one that he actually has romantic interest in gets pretty much clarified right off the bat. So it’s a little bit different from that, but, yeah.

C: Mm-hm.

NH: Sounds like it could be fun. 

A: Yeah. Like, him and the goblin representative- who, incidentally, is a guy, ‘cause, like, not all of them can produce viable children with humans, so, like, just send whoever.

NH: So is… Yeah.

A: And, uh, in their, in this planet, or in this universe, adopted children are seen as no different from biological ones, so 

C: (crosstalk) That’s ‘cause they’re not.

A: Them not being able to actually produce biological children is not a problem.

C: Yeah.

A: But, yeah. Basically him and the goblin hook up pretty quickly. They get along real well. But, yeah.

NH: That’s nice. Wait! An isekai with a romance built on genuine mutual affection?

A: Yeah, like they’re, like they’re friends! They become immediately best friends, and then they quickly discover they find each other attractive, and then they start, kinda, their relationship becomes dating, basically, within like, probably a couple weeks.

NH: I dunno… That sounds-

A: They go from strangers to best friends to dating very quickly. Like how teenagers often do.

C: Aw~

NH: Yeah.

A: But, uh… [to game] I don’t know what I’m looking for! (frustration) Zack! Just come bursting out of the wall already! Zack!

NH: (crosstalk) You are looking for an online walkthrough.

A: But I’ve already done this! I don’t wanna look it up! Ok, do we have anything else to talk about about Horimiya?

NH: About Horimiya? No. It was cute.

A: It is cute.

NH: (crosstalk) Her brother’s…

A: They do that character design thing where everybody has the same hair and eye color. Except for the one with the black hair, they’re, what’s it called? Madoka Magika’s the same way. The pink-haired girl has pink eyes and the green-haired girl has green eyes.

 NH: Oh! Remi and Sakura’s friendship is very sweet.

A: Yeah, it is. [to game]Hello…?

NH: Remi’s very nice. I like her. 

A: I wonder who wrote this, because I know it wasn’t Zack! Ok. Yeah, ok, and then Wonder Egg. Did y’all watch Wonder Egg?

NH: We did, it was-

C: (crosstalk) It was good. It was kinda…

A: (crosstalk) I thought the girl in the cold open was Rika. I didn’t get that it wasn’t her until near the end. I was like ‘what are they doing? Where’s the girl she’s supposed to be protecting? And why did they fall asleep in the same place?’ And then I was like ‘oh! Oh, that’s not Rika. I got you now.’ And then that other one, with the beauty obsessed girl, the way that was resolved really clever.

NH: That was nice.

C: Yeah.

A: That was interesting. [to game]I don’t know what I’m looking for. Goddamn!

NH: You are looking for the patience to survive.

A: Oh, I have the bag of snacks! I need to find, find a bird to give the bag of snacks to.

NH: Yeah.

A: Where’s the bird to give these snacks? I gotta give the bird to the snacks! I mean, the snacks to the bird, so that Zack can burst out of the wall and kill the bird, so I can get a key from the bird, so I can unlock the door and get outta here.

NH: Wow, this game sounds like so much fun.

C: (crosstalk) You know! Normal shit!

A: This game is- This game is silly.

NH: It’s an adventure game.

A: I called it a horror game, but it’s very, very silly.

NH: It’s an adventure game. You gotta use some convoluted logic.

A: (crosstalk) I wonder who put all this graffiti, because it was not Zack, because Zack can’t read.

NH: Amazing.

A: Yes, someone befitting, blahtedy blah…

NH: [getting back on topic] I do appreciate that they finally had someone point out how they should not have to do this out of guilt.  

A: Yeah.

NH: I was worried that they were not going to point out that this is kind of a lot to do for someone who did, in fact, make their own decision. But it was nice.

A: [to game] Oh, there’s the bird.

NH: Oh, and they all went bowling, that was fun, too. 

A: Oh, yeah, that was fun.

NH: It was a nice episode. It was very clever, and it was very emotionally touching. For me. To see them all hanging out and having fun.

A: The mannequins are assholes.

NH: The mannequins are assholes! You’re cuttin’ in and out.

A: The mannequins are assholes.

C: Yeah…

A: I’m a little bit leaned away from the- Ok. Oh, Momoe being super focused on the skeleton jenga while Rika talks about her mom is really cute. Like, Rika’s here talking about, – oh, and incidentally, I know all about moms being toxic and awful. But like, 

[NH and C agree.]

A: And then, while she’s saying this and Momoe’s intently focused on her Jenga. 

C: Well, wouldn’t you be?

A: Yeah. Also, where the- Neiru’s scar is really big! What did her sister stab her with, a fucking bat’leth?

C: I think maybe she was a lot smaller, when she got stabbed. And it just grew with her? But that’s not how scars work.

NH: (crosstalk) That’s not how scars work. Pitchfork maybe? Or a shovel? 

A: Or an ax?

NH: Or maybe she stabbed and then –

A: (crosstalk) [to game] Now I have a bird in my pocket!

NH: (crosstalk) Maybe she stabbed and then ripped down along her spine.

C: Thank you for that image. 

A: Yeah.

NH: You’re- I mean- I’m sorry. I will not bring up possible speculation about the details of the enormous spine long scar on her back ever again. Until it becomes relevant. [to DA:O] Oh, that’s not a mouse hole. Oh, my god I’m lost. 

A: Alrighty.

NH: Alright, so that’s Wonder Egg! We all enjoyed it, because it’s a good show that deserves to be enjoyed.

C: Yeah.

A: Yeah Did I have any other? Oh! Is Ai’s bed a loft or a bunk bed? ‘Cause the bottom part is covered.

NH: I think it’s a loft.

A: Then what’s underneath it? ‘Cause usually they stick desks under there, but her desk is not under there.

NH: Maybe a dresser? I don’t know. Maybe just storage.

A: Who knows?

C: It was- I very much appreciated they gave them a chance to breathe this episode.

A: Yeah.

NH: It was very nice.

A: [to game] Hey, it’s Zack! Hi, Zack!

C: Just, like, them referring to them as soldiers kinda irritated me a little bit, ‘cause they’re kids, but. 

NH: Yeah. Yeah.

A: Yeah.

NH: That’s true. [talking to their game] Gonna go through all of these (inaudible). Alright, so that’s-

A: [to game] Go! Go, go, go! (panicked noises)

NH: Already did Sk8, Horimiya, spider, Jobless…

A: Alright, and then, sorry, last one about Wonder Egg. Ok, so it’s clear why Ai does her thing at a school, and Neiru is on a bridge, and Momoe’s train can be inferred. But why does Rika do it in a field of flowers? 

C: Because she doesn’t know where it actually happened.

A: Ah…

C: She just heard about it, so she’s makin’ shit up, I guess. I don’t know.

NH: Doesn’t know what happened so she’s just imagining someplace beautiful for her friend?

A: Maybe.

C: Yeah, somethin’ like that.

NH: Um, it’s…

A: [to game] Well, that’s rude. You don’t need to call him ‘It’, his name is Zack.

NH: I’m sorry, Zack.

A: Zack is, I like Zack, he’s my buddy. I have a keychain of him. We have the- I took his name.

NH: Ah, that’s cute. 

A: Well, I mean, for my middle name, but yeah.

NH:; Yeah.

A: ‘Cause his name is Isaac, and he goes by Zack, and that’s super cool. I like that. Ok, so let’s move  on to another amine, unless anybody…? Oh! What the… In Cells at Work: Black, so, ok, so basically, the main blood cell won a, got an award for being a, for being good at being a blood cell. 

NH and C make listening noises.

A: And his boyfriend got super jealous, and they resolved their argument by getting engaged.

C: That’s adorable.                                

NH: That’s cute as hell.

A: That is not the best way to resolve an argument, but it was cute. 

C: Yes.

A: Also in the subtitles, every time somebody says ‘nande kore?’ it’s titled as ‘what the cell?’ Which is also-

C laughs.

NH: Very nice. These mages are frozen.

A: Yep. And then, in the regular Cells at Work, the dendrite had- was activated, and his new costume gave him serious Onceler vibes, and I didn’t care for it.

NH: That’s fair.

A: So, yeah. 

NH: I don’t- There we go.

A: So, um. And I was a little- was not super keen- I mean, I enjoyed it. But you know last week when I was talking about Osomatsu, and I referred to Nyaa and Totoko as being disaster lesbians?

NH: Yes.

A: And then the next- the very next episode was all about Nyaa developing a crush on Osomatsu because she has terrible taste in men. 

[NH deeply and noisily sighs straight into the mic.]

A: I mean, that has been well established. Her husband did leave her with a baby and take off, and she is basically married to Totoko, who is also not a great person. So her having a crush on Osomatsu does kinda fall within her general trend of being just the worst at pickin’ her dates, but you know. 

NH: I guess…

A: Yeah. 

NH: I don’t even watch the show. I don’t know why I care.

A: Because lesbians are cool.

C: So instead of disaster lesbian, she’s disaster bi?

A: They are both disaster bisexuals, yes. They are in- They are in lesbians with each other. In disaster lesbians.

[NH chuckles.]

C: Yes.

NH: That’s fair.

A: Oh, um. And when I was watching Non Non Biyori, I noticed that in some of the key frame drawings of Renge- who is the six year old- she has the chubby baby arms and legs.

C: Mm-hm.

A: But then other times, she doesn’t. And often in the same scene. And it’s a bit weird.

NH: That is odd.

A: Yeah. Also, nobody praised me, on not being killed by Zack at all. 

NH: Congrats on not being killed by Zack.

A: First time I played this game, he killed me, like, six bajillion times, because I didn’t notice how to run. You gotta push shift to run. Look at me run!

NH: Oh.

A: Ok, who am I supposed to take this fucking key to? Oh, I guess it’s over here. I can’t go in here. But he was hangin’ out in there! Maybe there’s something interesting in there. Okay, fine.

NH: Clearly there isn’t.

A: Anywho. Yeah. Oh, I also have a list of things that Non Non Biyori has in common with Higurashi: They’re both set in a small town. They both have many grades in one class. And they both involve time travel, and specifically a time loop. As every season of Non Non Biyori starts with Renge saying she just started first grade. But there’s still a definite continuity in calling back to all the things that have happened before. So, ok. Oh, and today was the first time this cour we saw Re:Zero’s OP. It is ok. I did not care for the autotune at the beginning of it. 

NH: I’m stepping away for a minute.

A: O-kaaay…

C: I’m still here! I’m listening! Autotune! Very annoying and unnecessary.

A: Oh, I have nothing else to say other than the autotune. Speaking of that, Yamishibai, if you watch Yamishibai, and you enjoy the music they use for their endings, I did find a, I found a playlist for ‘em on Spotify. So if you’re interested, you can go on Spotify, look for Yamishibai, and find a playlist of ‘em. And that’s all! I don’t have anything else to talk about. Well, there’s one thing. But I’mma wait for Haley to get back so we can talk about that. 

C: Ok.

A: You have anything you want-? Oh! You have anything?

C: Hades is fun. I’ve annoyed everybody in the house with how fun it is. 

A: Oh.

C: Yeah. I’m kind of hyperfocusing on that game right now. Also, the soundtrack is awesome. And you should listen to it on Spotify. 

A: Well, maybe I will. ‘Cause I like listening to video game music while I- [to game] Where am I supposed to use this key on? Elevator Passage Control Room. Oh! Oh, goddamit, you gotta be fucking shitting me! I forgot to do that.

C: Why? Uh oh.

A: What! It says it’s not – but this is the – the passage! So there’s a control room somewhere. Alright, I’ve gotta find the control room, I guess. It’s probably somewhere… hiding from me… This game can be a little bit obtuse.

C: Yeah?

A: Yeah. RPG Maker games can be like that. 

C: Yeah.

A: I wonder where Zack went? Oh! You know what, it is someplace in here. I remember ‘cause when I come out here, Zack will be perched on top of the door. 

C: Cool.

A: So I gotta unlock it from somewhere in here, and when I leave and then there’s Zack and I gotta run again. Oh, here it is!

C: You know… You take a look at the art for Zagreus online, and you expect him to be the asshole edgy boy, and he is! To his dad, but his dad’s a dick and deserves it. To everybody else, he’s just this sweet, kind, respectful boy, and I love him.

NH: Just a soft, gentle man.

C: Yes. Who dies, just all the time.

NH: Constantly. Maybe that’s why he’s so soft and nice.

A: Maybe.

NH: Ok, I’m back! What-

C: (inaudible) Ace?

A: Ok, last thing I wanna talk about before we get into the topic that you’ve hopefully thought of: You know how, so in anime, you know how most isekai tend to take place in that generic RPG fantasy land? And how in most of the Webtoons or whatever, the isekai seems to be in some kind of vague European imperialist kinda deal? And the lame kinda lazy power fantasy for that is being either married or the child of the emperor? 

NH: Yeah?

A: So I’d like to pitch for you my new webcomic: Reincarnated as the Emperor’s Heir, But Uh-Oh! I’m an Anarchist!

[NH laughs.]

C: Sounds like fun!

NH: That’s me!

A: [to game] Hey, look, it’s! There he is! See, I told you he was gonna be there.

NH: He was just waiting for you to find him.

A: Peek-a-boo!

NH: [to their Warden in DA:O, in reference to an enemy, not talking about their sister’s real dog or any real dog for that matter] Please kill the dog. Thank you.

A: Go go go go go go go!

NH: Tell me more about this anarchist of yours.

A: I’m thinkin’ about naming her ‘Anne Teefa’.

[NH snorts delightedly.]

A: Like ‘Anne,’ first name. And then the last name will be ‘Teefa.’ [Transcriber’s suggestion: Maybe Anne Tifa Marx?]

NH: Amazing.

A: Hurray! I escaped the Zack. I’m sure he won’t be showing up again –

NH: Aw, but he just wants to be your friend.

A: (crosstalk) I’m sure we’ll never see him again.

NH: Oh, no, never. How much did this game cost you?

A: Ten bucks?

NH: Oh. Nevermind then.

A: Yeah.

NH: Alright.

A: This place is very blue.

NH: I don’t know, I can’t see it. Is that all you wanted to talk about?

A: Yeah. I got nothin’. I’m out of anime. (inaudible)

NH: (crosstalk) Alright. So, I’ve been playing Tales of Vesperia

A: Ok… I’ve never played a Tales game.

NH: You’ve never played a Tales game?

A: I played one on GameCube for about five minutes.

NH: Oh, dear. Hold on, I have to think of a new topic now.

C: ‘Video games’ is fine as a topic.

NH: I mean, yeah, ‘video games’ is fine as a topic.

A: (laughs) His last name is ‘Dickens.’

NH: (snorts) Ok. No, I’ve been playing a lot of Tales of Vesperia because it was free on Game Pass. And, I don’t actually want to talk about the Tales franchise. I want to talk about this tendency that fantasy games, especially JRPGs, have of starting out with very personal and grounded stories, and then taking them and making them fantastical ‘save the world from this mystical otherworldly evil or horrible tragedy’ plots. Like, Tales of Vesperia starts out very simple. The core for this device that the lower quarter needs to have clean water gets stolen, and so your protagonist, Yuri, goes out, and he wants to track down this core that’s been stolen. And along the way you run into a lot of examples of the empire’s abuses, and corrupt officials, and all that shit, and it’s very interesting. It’s a very relatable story. And then it very awkwardly transitions into ‘by the way, this not at all a secret princess that you picked up near the beginning of the game is a Super Special Magic Girl, who is going to destroy the world if she keeps using her Super Special Magic.’ And so these ancient monster gods want to kill her for it to save the world from being consumed by polluted aer, or some shit.  

A: Ok.

NH: It’s just very awkwardly done, and I don’t understand why fantasy games insist on doing these sort of things. Like-

A: (crosstalk) It lets you, it starts off grounded so you can identify better with the protagonist. 

NH: Yeah, but-

A: And it gives you a more – a familiar entryway before they start sending you to places that don’t exist in the real world. Even though none of them are really all that, you know.

NH: Sure, but if your gonna do that, you need to – You can’t just drop them.

A: (crosstalk) If you’ve, if you’ve played – if you’ve played an R-

NH: Sorry, go ahead. (bad mic noise)

A: I said, if you’ve played an RPG, you know where all this shit’s going.

NH: Yeah, but like the issue is more with how they’re integrated, ‘cause they tend to just drop the corruption subplot whenever they don’t want to deal with it. And focus entirely on Estelle’s crisis of faith, and her desire to get to the bottom of the endless, unending- who is talking to me on Skype? 

C: Doesn’t matter, we’re busy.

NH: (crosstalk) magic subplot. That’s true, we are busy. Which would be fine if they didn’t do this so often, and so poorly. So that’s the topic, I guess: what is a video game that you want to enjoy, but keeps disappointing you?

A: Oh, there’s so many.

C: You see, I don’t have any o’ those, because I just stop playing if they disappoint me.

NH: Oh. That sounds, sounds sad for them. Sad for those poor games.

A: Trying to think, I’m trying to think of one. I guess there are a few, few Harvest Moon games games like that. That I would like to like more than I do. Hmm. I’m trying to think, ‘cause there’s definitely multi- ‘Cause it’s hard to come up with something while I’m playing a game [I like]. Let me see…

NH: Oh, I’ll get it out of the way- Uh, yes, the Old Republic is one of those games for me. I am very constantly disappointed by it. 

C: We know.

A: Well, I don’t know if I would call it ‘disappointed,’ but I didn’t like Persona 5 as much as a lot of other people. 

NH: Oh? Why not?

A: Like, 

NH: (crosstalk) I mean, other than the obvious?

A: I didn’t like that it seems… 

NH: Ace?

A: It took the easy way out in a lot of, in some – sorry, I was thinking – in some places. Like, having all this, both, Ryu- Ryuji and the protagonist –

NH: Joker.

A: Have their issues, have their things that, their problems that kinda turned them into outsiders, like what’s-his-name being arrested, and the other guy, the issues that got him kicked off the track team. Wait, I don’t remember if Ryuji was-

NH: (crosstalk) Ryuji lost his spot after being injured

A: (crosstalk) Anyway. 

NH: by their coach.

A: By the teacher.

NH: Yeah.

A: Yeah, I remember that, but I don’t remember if that involved him being falsely accused of something. Anyway, but the protagonist, the fact that he didn’t actually do what he was arrested for felt like a bit of a cop out. And also, that the stuff that they get from the dudes? That they beat, that they’re just replicas and not actually the thing, so they can’t be claimed to have actually committed the crime also seems like kind of a cheap sort of – Like, there seems to be some kind of Hayes Code in Japanese media these days, where minors can’t actually be seen doing anything that’s illegal, like, you know, like how in YuYu Hakusho, you would occasionally see Yusuke smoking, how, and in this day and age, you would never find, even if it was the same basic kind of delinquent character, would not be allowed to smoke, because minors aren’t allowed to smoke! So it’s illegal to show them doing illegal things.

NH: Yeah.

A: It’s just like, I’m not a huge fan o’ that. But yeah, no, but like with Persona 5, it doesn’t seem to want to, like, commit to what it’s politics actually are. Like, there’s one, one o’ the things, the people that you interact with is a politician, but you never find out what his politics are. Like if he’s more conservative, like if he’s-

NH: (crosstalk) His politics are whatever makes him money. 

A: His- Yeah, his politics are whatever the player likes, is basically…

NH: (crosstalk) Oh, you’re talking about one of the social links. 

A: Yeah.

NH: I thought you were talking about the Asshole McFuckface.

A: No, not that guy, not the bad guy.

NH: Ok. The other one.

A: The other guy.

NH: Yeah.

A: Yeah. So that’s – I was never a huge- I mean, I did enjoy- also I didn’t like that I couldn’t keep- I don’t like the protagonist being able to use different personas, I think that he should just have one that he levels up the same as the others do. I mean, the Super Special Awesome Protagonist, I’m sick of, for one thing

NH: (crosstalk) I mean-

A: And for another thing, it just adds more challenge and interest to the game if he only has specific things that he can do, and there’ll be places where he’s not so good, like how in Dragon- I mean Legend of Dragoon, how the main character has a fire type, and he’s always a fire type, and he will always be weak to water types, because he’s a fire type, and there’s nothing he can really do about, because you can’t switch him out of the party. Like, 

C: (crosstalk) Yeah.

A: If that game was made nowadays, he would be, like, the thunder type, or he would be able to use all the types, or something like that. [to game] Where is this door in the back, Doctor Danny?

NH: It’s up Danny’s ass.

A: I have been to all the doors!

NH: There is no door, he’s trying to trick you.

A: I have been to all the doors, Daniel! Oh, well now I can go in here. Ok, ‘cause he told me not to go in here before. 

NH: I will say, in response to one of your pettier complaints, because it’s been stuck in my head, it doesn’t- it wouldn’t make sense if they got the actual items that they were stealing, on account of how they are doing all this in an Inception-type deal. 

A: Yeah. But still, it feeds into my larger point my whining about the Japanese Hayes Code and the not letting-

NH: (crosstalk) Yeah, like, they never seemed to be doing anything actually wrong.

A: Like, like, and I don’t think that he actually should have sexually assaulted somebody, but he should have committed some crime to get arrested for, I think. Then he would have learned to have to make some sort of- atone for his mistakes.

NH: (crosstalk) Are you talking about Joker?

A: Yes.

NH: Ok, he was never accused of sexual assault, he was just accused of regular assault against that corrupt politician dude. If he was accused of sexual assault, he would not be a protagonist, especially if he had actually committed it. Because-

A: (crosstalk) I- You know, you know what I mean! It doesn’t matter what he was falsely accused of, the point is that he was falsely accused of it! He should have actually done something!

NH: (crosstalk) It totally does totally matter what he was falsely accused of. Not against your point, but, like, for the themes of the game, it does matter what he was falsely accused of. 

A: Not really. The point is that he was falsely accused, what he was falsely accused of is a little bit, little bit secondary. But, yeah. It’s still a good game, it’s just it has some problems that I think, that I think kinda hold it back a little bit.

NH: Yeah.

A: Also, the soundtrack did get a little repetitive and boring, but people – I did hear people mention, that was mentioned in the Yahtzee review.

A: Oh, I also, the only correct romance option is Hifumi, because Makoto is too cool for you, Haru just lost her father, Ann has – seems to have something going on with Ryuji, Futaba is your sister, and everybody else is an adult. So there you go.

NH: You’re wrong, Ryuji is the only proper romance option. 

A: But he’s not a romance option, I’m talking about the ones you can actually romance.

NH: (crosstalk) So don’t romance anyone!

A: Yeah. But if you have to romance somebody

NH: (crosstalk) You should not romance any of them.

A: (crosstalk) romance Hifumi, and also if they’re gonna do something about outsiders, than the characters should, then they should be gay, then some of the characters should be gay.

NH: Yeah.

A: Yeah.

NH: Really.

A: Yeah, but, uh… [to game] Alright, I’m gonna have to go back here. What do you want?

NH: Tell us more about Hades.

A: (noises of frustration) Just let me do my thing! I hate this guy!

C: Hades is fun!

NH: You’ve been enjoying it? Did you beat Charon yet?

C: No! I tried once, and I’ll never try again. I’ve learned that lesson: don’t steal money from the fucking ferryman.

NH: Or, steal money and then git gud and beat his ass.

A: Are we done talking about anime? We seem to be talking about whatever games we’re playing.

NH: Yeah. We moved on. This was the topic, is games.

A: No we’re talking to the games that we’re playing.

C: Did we talk about all the anime we were supposed to watch?

NH: Yeah.

A: Yes.

C: Did you watch any other anime you wanna talk about? And haven’t?

A: I can’t think of anything.

NH: Otherside Picnic was good.

A: (crosstalk) I need to rewatch King’s Game, but I don’t know if I’m ever gonna have time. Fortunately I already have a list of five things, if I wanna rewatch King’s Game.

NH: Otherside-

C: (crosstalk) Oh, there is a disappointing thing about this video game! There is!

NH: Hm?

C: You can raise you fuckin’ relationships with people, by givin’ them shit-

NH: (crosstalk) Yeah.

C: And maxing out your fucking relationship with Charon should get you a goddamn discount at his shop!

NH: Why?

C: Because that is just not fair that you have to kick his ass to get a discount, and that only lasts for one run. It’s just…

NH: Yeah.

C: He should be, he should be nice to you ‘cause you’re friends.

NH: But he’s not going to, because he has a job to do.

C: Yeah, well-

NH: (crosstalk) He has bills to pay. He’s got a family to feed, Charlie!

C: He’s running the shop as a hobby. He doesn’t have to and it’s not a part of his job. And he probably shouldn’t be doing it, since the only one he sells shit to is you, and you’re not supposed to be breaking out of Hades. (laughs) [Transcribers note: he probably does sell to the shades and others, but it’s never shown in the game- you are, in context, his only customer.] 

A: You said it was alexandrite, alexandrite is red and green.

C: So he is enabling you, against his boss’s orders, he’s risking his job.

NH: Good. He should do that. 

C: For the sake of coin, not you.

NH: (crosstalk) Fuck his dad.

A: You know, I don’t think that we really need to be futzing around, finding his glass eye, when we’re in a murder dungeon. Can we focus please? 

C: No. (inaudible)

A: (crosstalk) It’s not some kind of magic thing that’ll let you see better; it’s just cosmetic. Can we just move on? Daniel, you’re a crazy person. Anyhow. Somewhere that’s locked. Ok. Should we move on to our plugging, plugging, plugs?

[NH and C agree.]

A: Alright.

C: You wanna start, Ace?

A: Alright, sure, I’m going to plug Mountain Dew Code Red. Because I have Adul- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, so caffeine normally does not work on me, but I don’t know what they put in this Mountain Dew Code Red, but it sure does work. 

NH: Yep, it’s the sugar.

A: (crosstalk) And it can’t be the sugar because the regular Mountain Dew also has a whole shitload o’ sugar in it, so I think they might have put actual, like, fucking cocaine in here, and that’s why it works. 

NH: (crosstalk) It’s the classic soda.

A: It’s mixed with just a little bit of meth. Just, just a tou- just a skotch. That’s also why it rots your teeth so much.

C: (crosstalk) You know, that would explain a lot of Gamer Boy Bullshit. 

NH: Would it?

A: Oh, most Gamer Boys aren’t, aren’t, oh what’s the word, they aren’t sophisticated enough for Mountain Dew Code Red, they just drink the regular Mountain Dew.

C: That’s true. 

NH: That’s fair.

A: Or the gimmicky, whatever the special one is. 

NH: Fair.

A: [to game] Alright, let’s get the fuck outta here! It is not safe to stay- wait for Daniel, because he’s crazy! Ok.

NH: Anything you wanna plug? Sorry, promote?

A: I already promoted/plugged something. Promoting is later, you guys need to plug your things first.

NH: (stammering) Charlie, go!

C: Um! You know, I knew it was coming, but I already talked about Hades, so, um… There’s this new webtoon! Let me remember the name. You go real quick while I remember the name.

NH: Fuck. I don’t have- Ok, so, Untamed, obviously, go watch it, it’s good. What else? Shit. There was something I wanted to promote, and now I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. Something that was very important at the time. Go watch the Untamed. Oh! Should I promote…? I’ve been spending a lot of time on this website, but I’m not sure I should promote it, because it is a very legally grey area. No, I’m just going to err on the side of caution, and just 

A: (crosstalk) Oh look! Creepy!

NH: say go watch the Untamed, and go play Dragon Quest.

C: K. I remember what it is, now! It’s called Lone, it’s not a new webtoon, but I’ve been reading it recently.

A: Oh, I like Lone!

C: It’s a lot of fun. She’s a fuckin’ necromancer, and it’s awesome!

A: Yeah. Lone’s part of that new genre I call ‘the Muggle at Hogwarts.’

C: Yeah.

A: Yeah. Though, the only one that actually kinda sticks with that, and doesn’t, like, some kinda weak ‘they either got a new power’, or ‘they just have some super special awesome broken power that they didn’t realize’ or whatever, is Mashle: Magic and Muscles. It’s a Shonen Jump thing, by a guy who is very obviously a huge fan of Mob Psycho 100 and One Punch Man.

NH: As he should be. 

A: But, yeah, but Lone is good, I like Lone.

C: Yeah. I didn’t like her blonde friend at first, but she’s kinda growin’ on me. She’s a terrible person, but she owns it. 

A: (crosstalk) Oh, my gawd. I mean, I’ve seen that face before and it’s creepy.

editor’s note: this face

A: Hold on, I’m gonna-

C: (crosstalk) Ok.

A: I’m gonna wait to send this picture to you guys at some time, I’m gonna wait until you guys have forgotten! And then I’m gonna do it. And I think I immediately got killed.

NH: (snorts) Amazing.

A: I’m going to wait until you guy’s’ve forgotten that I’m going to send you a weird face, and then I’m going to send you a weird face. 

C: Ok.

NH: Ok. So that’s, like, what? A month?

A: Probably less than that.

NH: Just have to wait and see. Oh, we forgot best/worst of the week.

A: Oh. That comes after the plugs.

NH: So. According to the itinerary, it comes first. 

C: Either way, it doesn’t matter.

A: (crosstalk) Oh, whatever. I put the plugs in somewhere, but I guess. We can do Best of the Worst. Whichever. Or best and worst.

NH: (crosstalk) Ok. Charlie! Best character you’ve hung out with this week. It can be a-

C: (crosstalk) Best character I’ve hung out with?

NH: (crosstalk) video game, anime, anything. Best character you’ve had to deal with.

C: Dusa.

NH: Oh, Dusa’s sweet. 

C: Yeah, she’s a little gorgon head in Hades, and she’s just adorable. 

NH: She runs away every time you talk to her. It’s very sweet.

C: Not anymore! Ha ha ha ha! She loves me now!

NH: Well, you- Ok, fine, I don’t want-

C: (crosstalk) She asked me on a date.

NH: Aw~ Did you tell her you already had partners, and you’d have to check with them first?

C: No, ‘cause I don’t. 

NH: You’re not dating Meg and Thanatos yet?

C: Not yet, I’m workin’ on it. 

A: (crosstalk) Hey! Look, it’s my friend!

C: He won’t let me talk to him unless I beat him at his stupid game, and I’ve lost the last couple times, so progress is slow.

NH: Sounds like he’s a cheating bastard.

C: He is Death, of course he’s better at killing things than me!

NH: That’s fair. Ace! 

A: Yes?

NH: Worst – I can’t say customer – worst person you’ve had to deal with this week. 

A: Whichever motherfucker at Frontier that broke that fiber optic cable and had us be on downtime for 34 hours. 

NH: What an asshole. That sucks. Ow!

A: We had no internet or phones for a day and a half. It was not fun. And everybody was gettin’ pissed at us that the phone was out and they couldn’t- so they weren’t gettin’ calls with updates on their loved ones, like, reliably, and, like, don’t yell at us! Call Frontier! Yell at them! They’re the ones who broke their shit!

NH: Yeah. You’re doin’ what you can.

A: And, you know, I live in a place with a whole lotta Old White People, and there’re people who’re like ‘Oh, old people, blahdy blah blah and ageism and shit.’ Well, you know what? You ain’t had to live around a bunch of conservative, old conservative people, and I’mma tell you every single goddamn one of them is a shithead. They suck! I had to drive past a commercial building that had a dozen fucking Trump flags flying in front of it, right up until the inauguration, so fuck you! Old white people suck, and they’re all awful, and I’m going to just 

NH: (crosstalk) Kill them all? No, don’t do that!

A: I wanna move. I’m ready to move.

NH: Hey, you can come live with- Well, you probably can’t live with us. You can talk to Carianne, you might be able to live with us. 

A: Naw, I’d need to find a job first, I don’t wanna be unemployed

NH: (crosstalk) We 

A: forever again.

NH: Yeah, good luck with that.

A: Yeah.

NH: I mean, maybe you’d have better chances, since you don’t have the almost two year employment gap now.

A: I do have an almost two year employment gap, it’s just that I got (inaudible)

NH: (crosstalk) Recently?

A: No.

NH: Yeah, you gotta job at some point. 

A: Yeah. Hey look, it’s Zack!

NH: Hi, Zack.

A: He managed to get up here. I mean, why couldn’t you get into there the same way you got into yours?

NH: ‘Cause that wouldn’t be fun.

A: Anywho. 

NH: Alright, I think it’s about time to wrap up. Ace, where else can we find you?

A: Oh, tumblr. Oh, Zachary- oh Isaac.

NH: Just tumblr? Just general tumblr?

A: Yeah. After this game, he really needs to talk to his therapist about why getting surprised makes him puke.

NH: [to DA:O] Oh, bitch!

A: The links’ll be in the description of the YouTube video, just follow ‘em. Click on the button.

NH: (crosstalk) Yeah. I just died. Fuck me. I haven’t saved!

C: Oh no!

A: I’m gonna investigate Zack’s vomit. It says “Gross.”

NH: Don’t! Why would you investigate the – Charlie, where else can we find you?

C: Well, Twitch, here, Wednesdays and Sundays. 11 to whenever I’m done streaming. And then on tumblr. Headtort-

NH: headtorturerandtyrantsupreme.tumblr.com

C: Yeah, that. Or ecwritingprompts.

A: (crosstalk) I think that the 

C: If you want more writing shit. 

A: Can I take a second stab at my promotions? 

NH: Yes, please.

A: I stream here on Twitch, usually Tuesday/Wednesday. And Thursday, but I’m trying not to stream online games so much, so my streams, when I do stream on Tuesday, will be shorter, and instead of streaming Thursday, I’m going to simply record my Late Night LOTRO’s and then put them on YouTube, so yeah. Did I need to talk to Zack so that he could tell me to go find the thing?

NH: Possibly.

A: (crosstalk) I know it’s shattered. I’ve walked past it six billion times, thank you, game. 

C: Oh, we are workin’ on a thing together, that we’re not gonna tell you about yet, but it’s gonna be cool.

A: Yeah. We’ll tell you about it next week. The first episode of it will be up. Alright, your turn, Haley.

NH: Something-

C: (crosstalk) Can’t be next week! Dad’s coming, and we can’t stream.

NH: Yes, we can!

C: Yes we can?

NH: He can let us- he can give us some space for an hour to stream in. He won’t mind.

C: That’s fair. Ok, I take it back.

NH: Ok, I stream here on Twitch, you might be watching my stream, in fact. Or my archives. twitch.tv/arctickchild – because I promised I wouldn’t stop streaming until I finished the Circle of Magi, and I’m not done with Circle of Magi – but, twitch.tv/arctickchild. I stream Wednesday morning, Sunday morning, usually to late afternoon. Tonight, it’s probably gonna be until late tonight, because the circle of magi is long, and Saturday afternoon. Wednesday and Sunday, I stream either Dragon Age, or I’ve started streaming Tales of Symphonia. Saturday is purely Sims 4. That’s for my legacy family. 

A: (crosstalk) Oh!

NH: Yeah? What’s up? 

A: Oh, I walked out the door and he moved his head. 

NH: That’s weird.

A: Yeah. He’s supposed to be dead, but he’s not. But I already knew that he wasn’t dead, but I didn’t notice that he actually moves his head when you leave.

NH: Oh, ok.

A: So it’s not actually a surprise. Isaac, get out of the way!

NH: That’s 

A: Zack! Move! I have a key!

NH: He’s just trying to do his job! He’s just doin’ his job, man!

A: He’s blocking the key to the door! It’s not meant to be used here, goddamn you. This place is annoying. 

NH: Yeah.

A: The person who built this place is a dickhead.

NH: Probably.

C: Yeah.

NH: Ok, so

A: (crosstalk) That guy is also a dickhead.

NH: What was I saying? So…

C: (inaudible) promoting themselves?

NH: twitch.tv/arctickchild, Wednesdays and Sundays starting at ten, Saturday evenings starting at, like, two, two-thirty. I’m also on tumblr @arctickchild, and twitter @arctickchild, and starting this Saturday? Friday or Saturday, I’m going to be uploading the back- not backlog, but now deleted archives of my Twitch streams on YouTube, @Noah Haley, or endlesslyrium@gmail.com, if you can’t find it by Noah Haley.

A: (crosstalk) I remembered where to go, I remembered where to go! Sorry, I was very excited that I remembered something.

NH: I could tell! That sounded very exciting. Awesome.

A: It doesn’t happen very often.

NH: I believe you. But that’s not gonna be worth searching yet, but it’ll be up by Friday. So it will be up by the time this goes up on YouTube.

A: I’m going to run. Hurray!

NH: Ok. Do you want me to ask if Fen has anything she wants to promote, or can we just assume that she doesn’t and move on? 

C: You can ask her, it doesn’t hurt.

NH: I mean, she always says no.

 C: She might surprise you, you know how she likes to spite you.

NH: Alright. That’s true. Alright, I’m gonna go ask her, and while I’m gone, you two should discuss who the gayest sports anime character is this season.

C: Reki.

A: This season?

NH: Yes, this season.

A: You mean, with which…? 

C: Any. In general, I guess.

A: Like, that I? Oh, well, obviously it’s gonna be the married couple in Sk8 the Infinity, innit? 

C: Yeah. I guess. I think Reki and Langa are…

[Transcriber’s Note: these answers are all wrong. Sho is objectively the gayest, because you don’t get gayer than being killed off for cheap drama that provides no real character growth or motivation at all and only solves a very minor issue, no I am not bitter.]

A: (crosstalk) You don’t get more gay than gay married. 

C: But are they, though?

A: They totally are. Oh, look! There’s Isaac’s beautiful face.

Z:

C: Ok.

NH: Fen doesn’t have anything to plug or promote, but apparently, she wants us to write an essay about how the third episode of Wonder Egg Priority tells us about Rika’s dialogue- sorry, Rika’s character, without using any of her dialogue.

A: Why doesn’t she write it?

C: How about she does that, because she has a review due this week.

NH: (crosstalk) I assume – I dunno, man, we’ll find out and see if we can get her to do that, but I’m not hopeful. I don’t have what I need to open that door. I have nothing to do in this place. But, who knows, maybe that’s what we’ll have up on Friday. If she doesn’t have anything ready by Friday, I will have up, maybe, a filler essay.

[Editor’s Note: It was this filler essay! Go read it! It’s great because I wrote it!]

NH:But we’ll see. It won’t be on Wonder Egg Priority, because I’m saving that for an actual full review.

A: Mm-k. Alright, well I’m – I guess we’re done, and I guess next week we’ll be doing more Angels of Death. Yeah, the- Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that because I won’t be doing so many online games, I’m going to basically be a Stardew Valley streamer for the foreseeable future. At least until I decide to fiddle with emulators.

NH: (crosstalk) I mean, if you need games to play, I can give you my steam information, I’ve got like, a hundred of them.

A: Nah, it’s fine, I have my own steam information. 

NH: Ok.

C: Or you could play Hades, I can give you my information. 

A: Nah, I’m good. 

C: Ok.

A: I like Stardew Valley, Stardew Valley is good. It’s less about not having the resources for games, and more just not –

C: (crosstalk) Yeah…

A: I have to get around to downloading them. Because I know that the Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town remake is on Steam, I think. I can just buy it. Get that again, and-

NH: (crosstalk) It is.

A: you know. Maybe the new Story of Seasons game that’s coming out will be on Steam and I’ll stream that. 

NH: Alright.

A: So are we all done? Is that it?

NH: I think we are. Alright, thank you for stopping by! Meet us back here, same time next week. I believe Charlie’s hosting next week, right?

C: Yep.

A: I don’t know where my cursor is! I can’t stop the recording! (frantic cursor search noises)

NH: Except, next week, we’ll actually be starting at three, like we’re supposed to be.

C: Yes. And I promise, I’ll have something to talk about that isn’t Hades. 

NH: Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

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